Exactly who are you? Exactly what type of mate do you want? Exactly what type of relationship do you want? Are you interested in marriage? Are you secure in your sexuality? Are you comfortable with your body? Are you comfortable with a younger lover? An older lover? How important is it that he/she be financially stable? Does he/she have to be drop dead gorgeous? Fantastically fit?
When we are seeking employment, we spend time creating our r?sum?. We take our time, we do it right. We access our strengths and weaknesses, our special talents, and emphasize the type of employment we are seeking.
We obtain degrees and/or additional schooling to ensure that we are qualified for the best position, don’t we? We aren’t trying to settle for any old job, we’re seeking a lifetime career, right?! we go on interview after interview, and finally — we land the job that we want.
Now — flip the script, and let’s discuss our patterns for seeking a mate. Too many of us are taking shots in the dark. We just want a mate, any mate. Like Al Green, we’re tired of being alone. We’re so damn lonely that we are almost willing to get with anything that is breathing. (tsk, tsk)
Some of us just know that a mate will make us whole. All we need is a mate, is that asking too much? We bring our broken hearts, bruised egos and hurt feelings right along with us. We put a bandage on our wounds and expect another to want us, when we don’t even want ourselves.
Start with self. Once self is alright, everything else will fall in place.We need to put some time, thought and effort into obtaining a lifetime partner. Regardless of age, race, sexual orientation, everybody wants somebody — and — when you ain’t got nobody — somebody … anybody sounds kinda good!
Can we talk? Let’s be serious, o.k? Hell, we need someone who is compatible with us. We need someone we can relate to, someone we can grow with. What are your requirements? Yes, I said requirements. We need to think of ourselves too you know. How many of the following characteristics do you possess? How many of them do you seek in a mate?
Affection
Arguing skills
Attitude
Commitment
Communication
Compatibility
Considerate
Creativity
Financial responsibility
Flexibility
Friendship
Generosity
Gift-giving
Honesty
Household management
Listening skills
Lovemaking
Love of Life
Patience
Physically Fit
Physically Attractive
Playful
Romance
Self-awareness
Self-esteem
Sense of humor
Sense of self
Sensitivity
Spirituality
Spontaneity
Just as we take time and effort to ensure our employment r?sum? is in order before we seek employment, we must ensure that our relationship r?sum? is in order before we seek a lifetime mate.
